Mixing Work & Friends
At 9:30AM on the morning of Kevin & Jenny’s wedding, I was driving around Aliso Viejo with the groom, looking to buy a Canon dSLR, four dozen white carnations, and a 1/4″ screw.
For Kev’s wedding I was not only a friend and the hired photographer, but I was also coordinating our brand new videography team, of which the groom is a founding member. So that morning, the groom was doubling as videography team support and the photographer doubling as Costco card provider. If that doesn’t capture the spirit of working with friends, I don’t know what does.
I’ve heard plenty of cautionary tales of working with/for friends, but my experiences shooting friends’ weddings have been pretty awesome so far. So in celebration of an amazing friend-filled wedding weekend, here a few of the things I’ve been learning along the way.
1. When it comes to money, be professional and stand your ground.
The number one most difficult part of working for a friend is sorting out the money side of things. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always been weird about asking people for money anyway, and with friends, the overwhelming impulse is to throw them a discount! I will admit, especially in the beginning of my business, I’ve definitely been guilty of giving away too much. I’m now starting to realize how important it really is not to wiffle waffle when it comes to money, even with friends. Especially with friends. If you discount all the time, it not only cheapens your worth, it also means you’re probably not convinced by your own pricing. So as a policy, get your pricing right and stick to it. You can always throw in extras or upgrades (extra retouched photos, perhaps) instead of lowering your price.
2. Draw your own lines between working mode and friend/guest mode.
Either be the photographer or be a guest. Don’t try to be both at the same time. When I’m in the middle of shooting a wedding, I am all business. It would be great if I could simultaneously hang out with my friends who are guests at the wedding, but I’m not good enough to do both, so I don’t. I laugh it off ahead of time and let friends know I’ll probably be ignoring them most of the day, and it’s not until some point at the very end of the night that I put down the camera and join the party in guest mode. The perceived isolation may be difficult, but for me, it helps to keep the two roles somewhat divided in my head. It’s not that I need to be a stranger, but I need to focus and stay professional. Everything I do reflects on my brand, after all!
3. Embrace the personal relationship.
Portraiture is all about the relationship between photographer and subject. Knowing someone personally gets you a head start in capturing them on camera. Embrace all that is great about working with a friend instead of a stranger. Help your friends to get comfortable in front of your camera. Capture the quiet stories and the personal details that a stranger wouldn’t know to look for. Bring out their personalities. Get the inside look and blend in seamlessly with the rest of their friends and family. There are so many ways being a friend lends you access and perspective that a stranger just doesn’t have.
4. Utilize the guests (your friends!)
Congratulations! It’s like you brought your own marketing army with you to the wedding. If you have a group of friends at the wedding, win them over first, and they can (for lack of a better word) evangelize the rest of the guests for you– without them even knowing it! Do you create a same-day slideshow? If so, get your friends cheering the loudest. Throw in a couple crowd pleasers. Give them something to talk about. Check in with them when you get a chance throughout the day. Maybe show them some sneak peeks on the back of your camera. Tag them or start a discussion on Facebook right away and get them to spread the word. Free personal marketing army. Use it.
5. Don’t forget to enjoy the wedding!
I emphasized above that I’m really quite intent on working when I’m shooting a wedding. But as focused as I may be, I have a great time hanging out with the bride and groom all day, seeing my friends who have traveled to be there, and finally at the end of the night, setting all my gear down and officially joining in the dance party as a guest. For all their pomp and circumstance, weddings are still at their core a celebration of love. What better way to celebrate than amongst friends? I’m so, so lucky to do this as my work.
Finally, a special shoutout to Kev & Jenny for an intense and amazing wedding weekend in Orange County and to my new videography team at Seaglass Cinema. We’re hoping we’ll have something to show the world soon (wink), but for now you’ll all have to continue waiting in suspense.
This is the full Seaglass Cinema team enjoying the fantastic Cube the Moment photobooth at the wedding. Left to right, Steve Wang, Kevin Yau (doubling as groom), me (doubling as photographer), Jason Lee, and Jon Lee (doubling as groomsman). Amazing group of people. I’m super lucky to be working with you all.
